Toast and Hot Chocolate

A comfort food to fuel my thoughts on this sunday evening. It has been a long week, but thankfully a nice weekend. I am just not sure that I am ready to go back to work and deal with the what awaits. For those of you that don't know, I work at a cancer center. I manage the front end (non-medical personel) and the insurance/finance issues (patinents with no insurance and the ones that can't afford the co-pays and what is left over after their insurance pays.). An emotional roller coaster on a daily basis. It was such a nice opportunity to listen and watch conference this weekend. I espically enjoyed the talks yesterday. (I have to admit that I was not able to watch and listen to everything I wanted. One day I will understand 'children radar'.--their uncanny ability to know when you are busy and know just when to come and interrupt. For example--telephone calls.) The topics yesterday morning seemed to be aimed directly at me. Without going into too much detail it has been quite a rough year for us. Discouragement and depression are not uncommon feelings in our house right now. We are trying to deal with all the trials with faith, knowing that things will work out, but it is hard. They say that the Lord will only give us trials that we are strong enough to make it through, but I am begining to doubt the truth of that statement. I don't know if I want to be that strong right now. But I am trying to focus on the things that I can see as blessings. When we consume ourselves in self-pity, we only see darkness. Even when all we have to do is open our eyes to see the light. There have been many times that I have been angry at God for giving me a trial, then later grateful for the lessons learned. I only hope that I can look back and be grateful when these are over. Now I must get back to my laundry. The kids need clean clothes to wear to school tomorrow. Sometimes those small miracles are clean socks (espically if they match!!)